wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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