The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was like eating out sand paper
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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