I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
