So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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