Screwed.edu
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
