It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
