I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
