dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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