I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
