I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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