There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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