Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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