This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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