Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
