went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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