I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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