I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
