I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
