whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
