last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
