It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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