South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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