when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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