are you so shy because you have an std?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
