erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
mondays should just be called national damage control day
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
