Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
