let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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