i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
