But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
