can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My vagina just clenched in fear
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
