dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
