I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
