maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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