i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
