Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
