dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
