Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
