Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
