How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
