im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
