Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
