This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
