So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
