The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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