I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
