you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
