i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
