You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think my moral compass just broke
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
