Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
