You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
